I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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