found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
