Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
