youre lurking in front of me
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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