i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
