I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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