the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
