He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
