Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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