well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
