let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
