we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
