It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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