would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
