I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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