gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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