There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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