There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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