i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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