We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
