Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
