you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
