It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
