I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
