so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
