I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
