It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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