The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
