just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
