we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
