Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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