If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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