he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
