just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
