I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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