he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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