He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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