Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
