Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
