she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
