hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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