grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
