just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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