my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
