What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
