seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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