Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
