I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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