my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
