you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
