He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
