You really coming over, don't trick.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
